My Inmortal

New York City... th big apple.. día 1

2008-12-22T04:27:00.004-03:00

Así es. Aquí me encuentro. El día 17 de dic de 2008 a las 12.36 partió nuestro vuelo desde Sacramento a NYC. Duró 4 horas y llegamos a las 8.30 a NY, hora local.

No desayunamos... solo pikoteamos cremés (parecidas a la oreo), nos fuimos directo a un bus que nos dejó cerca del centro para tomar el metro que nos llevó a Broadway street. Allí recogimos los NY Pass que habíamos comprado para entrar a atracciones turísticas y con maleta y todo dimos como mil vueltas para encontrar el local... como que no están enumerados todos los edificios de esa calle. Dimos con Hollywood Planet y ahí nos lo entregaron. De ahí, muertas de hambre, nos fuimos en busca del Hostelling International. Tomamos el metro nuevamente y ahí nos dimos cuenta de que realmente no es tan bueno como el de Santiago.... basura por todos lados, no hay guardias, algunas estaciones huelen a desague... y lo más importante... todas las estaciones NO TIENEN MAPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
De todas formas... llegar al hostelling fue más fácil que llegar a Broadway jaja...
Nos instalamos, almorzamos y salimos a recorrer. Primera parada.... Central Park!
Definitivamente precioso... lo caminamos todo. Gente paseando, niños jugando.. cercanos a los 0 grados.. gente trotando y nosotras sacando fotos jejeje. Después de salir del Parque, caminamos por los alrededores de Broadway y entramos a algunas tiendas sólo para calentarnos de tanto frío que hacía. Nos compramos un chocolate caliente y seguimos nuestro camino hacia el centro de la calle principal. Más fotos! mucha luz y gasto de energía.... ruido, taxis tocando bocinas, masas caminando. Gente promocionando shows, carritos vendiendo perros calientes, gente caminando rápido después del trabajo, algunos paseando tomando café y miles de turistas disfrutando del espectáculo visual.

Cansadas... nos regresamos al hotel a cenar :D

Update!

2008-12-22T03:37:00.002-03:00

uuffff!!! hace mil que no escribía por estos lados...
he estado ocupada y no he tenido tiempo de actualizar esto hasta ahora.. ahora que estoy atrapada en New York por la tormenta que tiene cancelados los vuelos...
Ha pasado mucho desde la última vez que escribí.
A la semana siguiente de la Conferencia en San José, el Extension Center nos llevó a San Francisco. Recorrimos pier 39, la calle con más curvas de San Fco, the Coit Tower, subimos cerros, comimos mariscos, compramos souvenirs y sacamos muchas fotos jejeje.
Después de eso, la cosa en la u se vino pesada.. asi que no había mucho tiempo para paseos. Fue bien intenso, hartos papers y estudio. Pero el 6 de diciembre se hizo la ceremonia de graduación del quarter. Asistieron todos los que asistieron a las clases del extension center, incluyéndonos. Se suponía que bailaría cueca de nuevo pero no pudo ser, ya que la persona que se consiguió el vestido, trajo la talla equivocada :(
Nos llamaron uno a uno a delante, entrega del diploma, saludo a cada profe del extension center y la sesión de fotos.. con todas las cámaras de los compas jejeje. Nos dieron un diploma a cada uno y un certificado de notas... y a los que obtuvieron una A les pusieron una "estrella" en el diploma... por cierto... tuve estrellita xD
jajajajajja
Luego de la ceremonia, nos fuimos al Orchard room a compartir un pedazo de torta con bebestibles. Esa misma noche, salimos a bailar después de la cena.
Pero ahí no terminó todo para mí. El martes siguiente tenía mi examen final de linguistic analysis. La verdad es que no estudié de la forma como lo hago usualmente, de hecho no estudié. Sólo me dediqué a hacer el ejercicio de tarea que era parte del final y a leer algunos que ya habíamos hecho. Estaba un poco ansiosa, porque todos estaban muy concentrados llenando los datos de la hoja de respuesta cuando llegué. Pensé que me iba a ir muy mal, porque no había estudiado y porque los problemas estaban difíciles. Pero a pesar de todo, me encontré con la fantástica sopresa de que me fue bien :D. Tuve una B como notal final del ramo. No es lo mejor pero no se acerca para nada a lo que yo esperaba. Eso me demostró ue igual sé y me las arreglo con la fonética xD
La semana siguiente de eso, comenzamos las clases intensivas de diversidad cultural. Analizamos temas referentes a las diferencias que hay entre los alumnos en una sala de clases, raza, ideología, nivel intelectual, sexual, etc. Fue bastante interesante y a pesar de que las clases eran de 4 horas diarias, no se sintió pesado para nada.
Lo malo era que el Extension se sentía vacío sin todos los otros extranjeros que terminaron las clases unas clases antes que nosotros.... igual se extrañan los "chinitos" y los árabes.

Después de esa semana.......Por fin!!! Vacaciones!!!
a arreglar todo para NYC!
:D

CATESOL Conference

2008-11-13T19:04:00.003-03:00

El sábado fui a la San Jose State University a una conferencia de los profesores de inglés como L2 de California.
El bus salía a las 6.30 am por lo que m tuve que levantar a las 4.30. Nunca más!!!
Lo weno es que me fui durmiendo todo el viaje en bus, eran dos hora de viaje desde Davis a San Jose.
Cuando llegamos, nos registramos y fuimos directo al desayuno. Había café, mufins y otros dulces típicos Americanos. Cada hora habían varias conferencias simultáneamente, así que sólo podíamos ir a una por hora.
La primera a la que fui, fue la mejor. Sin pedirlo me dieron un Pictionary de la Oxford!! Básicamente, se trataba de cómo usar el pictionary; estrategias para que los alumnos aprendieran vocabulario usando ese libro.
Vino el almuerzo, gran sandwich, manzana, algo de avena y agua.
Las demás talks fueron guateando de a poco. La del final, fue la peor. Se trató de una investigación que una recién titulada profesora hizo con estudiantes Chilenos, a través de internet.... mejor la hubiera hecho yo.

Entre las talks, pasié por los puestos de las distintas editoriales y con palabrería conseguí que me dieran varios libros más.
A las 3 de vuelta a Davis!!! por fin.. porque fue muy agotador.. la levantada temprano me mató.
xD

Halloween en USA

2008-11-02T23:00:00.004-03:00

Gran tradición por estos lares es difrazarse para el 31 de octubre. Desde temprano en la mañana se podían ver universitarios con sus disfraces caminando por ahí o andando en bicicleta, a pesar de la lluvia que se dejó caer desde el jueves por la tarde.

El panorama en el Extension Center era una pizza party desde las 5.30 hasta las 8.30... asi que después de clases hicimos todo por la full production.
xD

Todas ya teníamos nuestro traje comprado. Marissa y yo lo compramos en Sacramento, ella de diosa griega o algo así y yo de ganster. A las 5 entramos al baño del extension y nos cambiamos, maquillamos y peinamos. Cuando fuimos mirando, nos dimos cuenta que como que nos habíamos ido al chancho. Pero filín, el team Davis hizo su gran entrance y al principio fuimos el centro de atención por lo waxonas que nos veíamos.
Más tarde, hicieron su aparición algunas japonesas y sus disfraces.. hasta un japonés que se creía odalisca xD.
Llegó la hora de las pizzas... luego el bailoteo que comenzó liderado por los Chilenos, pero sin darnos cuenta le dimos cuerda a los Asiáticos que no podían parar. Hubo un poco de baile libre, su gasolina y a la macarena también la invitaron, pero después de un rato se formó un círculo, donde cada uno hacía su gracia. Su pasito de break dance, un poco de "ji-jó".. hasta un pescao cocinao se vieron.
Repentinamente y sin que nadie quisiera, a las 8.30 en punto se detuvo la música. Era hora de irse, pero como los Chilenitos somos de tiro largo, nos juntamos afuera y quedamos en ir a la casa de Paty para dejar nuestras cosas e ir a sandunguear por ahí.
La reflexión del trayecto: jamás se me pasó por la mente que alguna vez andaría en bici, en Halloween, en USA, a las 9 de la noxe, con disfraz (de taco alto y mini) y. más encima, lloviendo!!!
Toda cool me veía con mi capita para el agua sobre el disfraz y la casaca... con panties, pasando por las posas y tirando barro con la rueda trasera
=P

Llegamos donde Paty, esperamos que llegara el resto y nos fuimos al "The Graduate". Hasta al viejito pascuero nos encontramos ahí!! también andaban el hombre duxa.. vakeras, corredoras de carrera de autos, prostitutas, piratas, escoceses, etc... de todo!
En el local, era día de coreografía... todos alineados debían bailar coordinamente lo mismo!.. tratamos de ser un poco más originales bailando libre, pero nos echaron de la pista... mala ondi.
Pero igual bailamos, nos aprendimos un par de pasitos y a repetir todo el rato. Bailamos hasta la macarena.. por segunda vez en una noche... =P

A eso de las 1.30 cerraron, nos andaban corretieando como si fueramos ganado: the bar is closed!

De vuelta a casa de Paty entre algunos chubascos, en busca de las bicis y para la casa. Bastante sirvió la capita... porque se puso a llover muy fuerte en el camino.

Y eso fue todo???
NoOoOoOoOo!!! Al otro día a las 21.30 en el Nugget para seguir celebrando (con cueca y axé incluidos), pero esta vez en casa de Sandra... hasta las 5!.. o 4!.. como se quiera ver (noche de cambio de hora)

Capitolio de Sacramento

2008-10-28T01:56:00.000-03:00

El fin de semana pasado nos llevaron a Sacramento de tour
:D

A las 10.30 llegó el bus a buscarnos y a las 11 ya estábamos caminando por los alrededores del Capitolio de la capital de California. Una vez adentro, visitamos las antiguas oficinas del gobernador, la sala de reuniones, las dos cámaras y la galería fotográfica de los gobernadores anteriores.
Más que oficina, parecía museo.

Y Governator???? no estaba :(
era Domingo...

Después de eso, fuimos al Crocker Museum... nunca había estado tan entretenida en un museo jaja
La guía muy simpática y contaba historias de las pinturas y nos preguntaba la opinión. También, nos preguntaba cosas de Chile.
El museo estaba dividido por zonas: la parte europea, misceláneo, América, pop art y no me acuerdo que más!
xD
pero hasta unos monos de cera habían.. desnudos y bien reales :S... no quería ver tanto
=P

Cuando terminamos el paseín guiado, nos fuimos a Old Sacramento. Era como estar en una película de Clint Eastwood... muy western, de la época de la fiebre del oro. Casas que parecían cantinas, las veredas eran de madera, cowboys por las calles y la estación de trenes Pacific.
Las calles están llenas de tiendas y locales para comer. Marissa y yo aprovechamos de comprar nuestros disfraces de Halloween. Luego, nos compramos un helado y fuimos a pasear por la estación, cerca del río.
:D

Vacaville

2008-10-26T02:09:00.003-03:00

El palacio para todo aquel que disfrute de comprar. Es el pueblo que tiene un gran centro comercial con muchas tiendas de marca, a precios rasonables. No alcanza un día para recorrerlo todo. La idea era comprarse unas pocas perchas y regatear un poco. Nos levantamos muy temprano (sacrificio luego de una noche de carrete) y a las 8 estábamos esperando el bus que nos llevaría a Vacaville. Aproximadamente, una hora dura el viaje desde Davis a ese town. Al llegar, lo primero fue buscar un lugar para tomar café y poder despertar. Lo mas cercano era un McDonals, así que ahí "desayunamos". Después fuimos a un Wal-Mart a ver qué tal. Igual al que ya habíamos ido en Sacramento. Luego, fuimos a la parte principal, donde están todas las tiendas. No es como un mall, es como el centro. Una tienda al lado de la otra, pero con construcciones con mucho más estilo xD Entre las tiendas que entramos estaban Calvin Klein, Adidas, Reebook, Ralph Lauren , entre otras.. no tan conocidas en Chile. Se notaba la exclusividad, lo espacioso y lo "elegante" para comprar. Me compré un chaleco, los demás, zapatillas y poleras. Más tarde, almorzamos en un TacoBell... hacía hambre xD estaba muy riiico :D Ya era hora de regresar, así que fuimos al Wal-Mart de nuevo, porque la intención era comprar ropa para ir al gimnasio y ése era el lugar mas barato. Pagamos y a esperar el bus de vuelta. Sólo es un bus de ida y otro de regreso. Así que hay que estar pendiente de la hora para no quedarse allá. Noticias!!! No nos dejó el bus xD

La semana en el Extension Center

2008-10-11T01:24:00.002-04:00

Extension Center (Centro de Extensión) es la repartición de UC Davis encargada de recibir a los estudiantes extranjeros que vienen a estudiar programas especiales, como yo.
Aparte de lo académico también se preocupan de tener actividades de recreación. Es por eso que todas las semanas realizan distintas cosas:
-lunes: Día de coffee brak y conversación. Es temprano en la mañana, asi que es como un desayuno :D
-martes: día de peli y popcorn! Siempre tienen un estreno... pero algo curioso... la palomitas son con margarina en este país!! asi que son saladas. Me gustaron aunque son bastante aceitosas.
-miércoles: día de deporte... basketball, volleyball, baseball, soccer, etc. Cada miércoles es un juego distinto.
-jueves: día de juegos de salón, pictionary o bingo.
-viernes: día de helados!!!! Ice cream social... ése es mi día favorito :D Helados de varios sabores, con crispis, gomitas, m&m, galletas, crema, salsa de chocolate o frutilla, conos, etc... con todo lo que quera :)

Igual y entre tanto estudio me relajo un poquito. Los martes puedo ver la peli si es que no tengo que estudiar y los viernes obvio voy a comer helado. Generalmente no puedo ir a los otros.

Comida???

2008-10-11T00:38:00.003-04:00

No he pasado hambre ni tampoco me he llenado comiendo. Pero estos gringos si que tienen comida.
La despensa nunca está vacía.... enlatados, cajas de comida para preparar, frutos secos, etc.
y el refrigerador siempre lleno de leche, yogurt, diferentes tipos de margarinas, pan, frutas, verduras, tortillas para tacos, queso, embutidos, jugo, etc.

¿Calidad de la alimentación?
Depende de cada familia. Por ejemplo, en la casa de una de las chilenas, todo es orgánico. Todo muy "natural"... harta verdura, nada de fritos ni cosas aceitosas. En cambio, en otra casa todo es de lujo, por lo que antes de cenar se hace un aperitivo de vino blanco con cosas para picar. Otros hogares, basan su alimentación en comida mejicana, por lo que casi todo es picante.
En mi caso, no hay extremos. Aunque la alimentación, se basa básicamente en verduras, pastas y pollo, cosas que me gustan :D
El único problema, es que, por ejemplo, las ensaladas son sin aliño, excepto por una salsa italiana que tiene vinagre con otras cosas picantes y no me gusta mucho. Además, (creo que es por el es tilo de vida que lleva la dueña de casa y le queda poco tiempo), hay harta comida para llegar y meter al microonda, no hay mucha preparación. Lo bueno, es que también se prepara comida de forma tradicional, sobre todo los estofados y tallarines, también, no he encontrado nada diferente con las frutas.

En el supermercado, se puede encontrar de todo a todos precios, dependiendo del supermercado. En su mayoría, los productos son bajos en grasa (sólo con un 1%), pero altos en calorías, sobre todo los derivas de lácteos. También, se puede encontrar distintos tipos de bebidas (que tienen menos gas que en Chile) y jugos enlatados y embotellados y muchas marcas de agua envasada (entre 500 y 700 cc), cuyo precio bordea el dólar. Además, venden unos batidos de fruta altos en proteinas que son sabrosos y livianos.
Respecto de galletas y papas fritas, la mayoría de las primeras son hechas con productos naturales y algunas las puedes encontrar en paquetes de 100 calorías, pero muchas contienen harta manteca y grasas, mientras que las segundas, las puedes encontrar de distintas variedades... muchas más de las que produce lays (de jamón, salame, verduras, chile, etc).
Las golosinas son MUY malas. Puro plástico. El chocolate es muy suave, aunque con muchas variedades. No hay golosinas "sanas", todas son muy grasosas, saben a grasa, excepto por las barras de cereales. No hay nada parecido a un superocho o a los galletones, pero sí hay gansito y pinguino xD

Life in Davis

2008-10-01T21:44:00.006-04:00

Davis es un town muy tranquilo. Es amplio, no hay construcciones en altura y, a pesar de que está en una zona seca, tiene mucho verde. La comunidad se ha preocupado de ciudar el entorno.
Hay altas multas para quienes botan basura en la calle. US$1000.
Respecto de los precios en la zona, todo lo que es electrónica es un poco más barato que en Chile. Pero lo que es papelería y artículos escolares es mucho más caro, sobre todo los libros escolares.
Hay 3 medios de transporte más usados. El bus, el auto y la bicicleta.
El primero, tiene una frecuencia terriblemente baja, pero es muy puntual. El pasaje es de 1 dólar, aunque con la tarjeta de identificación escolar, es gratis :D
El segundo, es más usado por los jefes de familia y madres que dejan a sus hijos en los colegios. La bencina es más barata que en Chile, pero ellos están preocupados porque se les viene un aumento en los precios, debido a los problemas económicos del país.
El tercero, es el más común. Toda la comunidad estudiantil la usa, niños, adolescentes y algunos profesores. Es excelente para moverse dentro del campus y de la ciudad. Permite independencia, movilidad y es gratis! Dicen que en Davis hay más bicicletas que personas.
El campus es casi la mitad de la ciudad y la universidad es la principal fuente de trabajo e los habitantes. Incluso hay gente de Sacramento trabajando en la U. Tiene una gran biblioteca, funciona con el mismo sistema de la UdeC, tiene un lugar donde puedes comer y estudiar llamado Silo. Las distintas fraternidades tienen sus propios edificios y sus miembros andan con poleras iguales invitando a la gente a sus actividades.
Está tembién el Memorial Union, que es como un centro en donde hay una librería, salón de juegos, lugares para comer, una oficina postal, cajeros automáticos, entre otras cosas. Es como el centro neurálgico de la U. Siempre hay movimiento por allá.
Esos son los edicificios principales del campus, los demás son facultades o edificios de aula. Ahí sólo tengo una clase.
Tengo más clases en el Extension Center. Ahí reciben a los estudiantes extranjeros, orientan y les hacen clases de inglés u otros programas. Tiene una pequeña área verde, con mesas de pic nic donde almorzamos. También, tiene una sala multimedia, otra donde vemos películas, y una sala principal donde nos reuníamos para las orientaciones iniciales.
El Extension Center está a 5 min aprox. del Memorial Union en bicicleta.... pero se hacen eternos por el calor.
Durante la semana que he estado acá, la temperatura máxima promedio es de 35°.. pero los últimos 2 días se ha sentido un poco más frescos y con una brisa tibia. Poco a poco estamos entrando al invierno californiano. (menos mal!)

Al comienzo me desesperó la falta de boche. A donde sea, todo es tranquilo, no hay ruidode grandes congestiones vehiculares ni de alarmas de autos, ni nada... a lo más, los bomberos o la policía de vez en cuando. Ahora ya me acostumbré a la tranquilidad, porque tengo mi propio stress con los estudios xD

Mi "familia"

2008-10-01T21:13:00.003-04:00

El día que llegué a Davis, me encontré con la sorpresa de que aún no me "podían" llevar a una casa de familia porque según ellos me faltaba entregar un papel. Reclamé, porque había mandado todo hacían más de dos semanas, revisaron y aclararon el error. La cosa es que mientras nos llevaban por un tour en la U, la jefa de familia llegó. Me estaba esperando.
En mi nueva casa somos 4 personas. Kate(la dueña), Hope (su hija), Arisa (otra estudiante extranjera, ella es de Japón) y yo.
Según mis deducciones, Kate es divorciada. Ella tiene 3 hijos, Hope, una hija de mi edad que está estudiando en la India y otro niño, que vive con su papá.
Kate, es muy simpática y amable. Se preocupa porque hayan las cosas que m gustan en el refrigerador y porque me sienta cómoda. Es muy atenta. Es profesora, y trabaja en una iglesia. Su horario lo escoge ella, pero no es tan flexible, ya que siempre tiene que estar preparandose o en reuniones.
Hope, también es simpática. Tiene 15 años y es una chica muy ocupada. Siempre tiene algo que hacer para el colegio. Le gusta la actuación y creo que está en un club de drama, porque siempre está preparando cosas para una obra.
Arisa, tiene 19 años y vino desde Japón a aprender inglés. Le cuesta un poco entender, pero ha mejorado bastante desde que llegué. Nos entendemos bien :D Aunque es un poco tímida, se desenvuelve bastante bien. Los primeros días siempre nos encontrábamos en el Extension Center (donde tengo la mayoría de mis clases) por las jornadas de orientación.
El ambiente en la casa, es muy cálido, pero también independiente, cosa que me acomoda bastante. No hay reglas, sólo las mínimas de respeto que también hay en mi casa. Algunos de mis compañeros se sienten limitados en sus nuevas casas, porque tienen muchas reglas. Afortunadamente, aquí me siento como en mi casa. Eso ayuda bastante, ya que no me siento como en casa agena y es más fácil la adaptación.

Varios me han preguntado si hecho de menos mi casa. La verdad, es que todavía no tengo ese sentimiento de querer estar en Chile. Según la orientadora, lo normal es que los primeros días estuviéramos felices por todo lo nuevo, luego vendría un período de "depresión", en donde estaríamos un poco tristes y homesick (extrañando casa) y que finalmente, entraríamos a un período de acostumbramiento.
Comparando con los otros chilenos, todos ya están en la segunda etapa. Y es un poco raro, yo e creo ser la única que no. Me alegra eso. Estoy segura de que el hecho de sentirme cómoda en casa, de hablar en español con mis compañeros (con puro inglés estaría chata) y de mantener comunicación diaria con Chile, han hecho todo mucho más fácil.

Primeros Días

2008-09-28T17:43:00.004-04:00

Después del ajetreo de la llegada, hemos tenido días bastante ocupados pero también paseados xD
durante la semana, fuimos al Extension Center para la orientación, donde nos explicaron sobre nuestros ramos y nos tomaron un test para conocer nuestro nivel de inglés, entre otras cosas importantes. El viernes fuimos a probar clases.. y m gustó la de análisis linguistico, así que en ése me voy a inscribir.
Ayer fue un día de paseo y shopping. Fuimos a Sacramento y las niñas se compraron notebooks. Vitrineamos por un mall y luego fuimos a Wal-Mart, ahí me compré un MP4 :D
Sacramento es mucho más grande que Davis y parece más estados unidos. Hay de todo, harta gente, gorda, negros, rubios, etc.. acá es pura población universitaria.
Después de un rato n el súper super, se nos perdió la Sandra con su compañera Japonesa porque fueron al Mc Donald a almorzar. Nosotras comimos afuera del Wal-Mart porque tenía mesitas afuera.. más tarde llegaron las desaparecidas e hicimos hora para el bus.
Hacía mucho calor y lo peor fue que tuvimos que esperarlo un montón para volver. Eso es lo malo, tienen poca frecuencia, aunque nos vamos gratis mostrando la tarjeta de estudiante y con aire acondicionado!! iujuuu

Mientras esperábamos el segundo bus de vuelva, nos dimos cuenta que estábamos frente a la alcaldía de Sacramento.. es enorme.. ni parecida a las de Chile.
Nos faltó ver casi todo, para la otra iremos más de turistas, mínimo el capitolio donde esta el tío Arnold xD
Hoy domingo, m dediqué a limpiar y ordenar mi chiquero y a sociabilizar n el pc con gente con quien no había hablado desde que llegué.
Ahora me tengo que ir para una especie de concierto Chileno. Va a venir un payadero y van a haber picadillos por la módica suma de 7 lucas... jua!
Bueno, iré a ver cómo es la cosa.. me preparo, hay 36° e iré a transpirar en bici xD
Ya les cuento.

From USA

2008-09-25T20:46:00.002-04:00

ahora k toy n un English Speaking country voy a scribir n spañol

aki les cuento como ha sido too
llegué hace dos días y el cambio de clima fue más o menos fuerte. Para empezar, el viaje en bus a Santiago fue larguito.. llegamos y almorzamos, después para el aeropuerto.. tramites y la última comida en Chile.. que a todo esto fue la más cara. (todo es caro en el airport)
El vuelo fue eterno y malito ...10 horas desde Santiago a Atlanta, poquísimo tuto; salimos a las 8.40 pm y llegamos a las 6.30 am.. luego trámites de aduana.. y un ratito para "descanzar" mientras esperábamos el otro vuelo a Sacramento.. ahí adivinen qué pasó..... me picó una pulga!!!! =P (y ahora me pican un montón las ronchas con el calor). A las 8.45 am, despegamos desde Atlanta en un vuelo de 5 horas aunque llegamos a las 10.40 am a Sacramento.. jeje.. fue por el cambio de hora.
Dato Curioso: cuando nos ibamos a bajar del avión la piloto dijo "gracias por su preferencia.. bla bla... todavía es de mañana"! plop!!
Ése ha sido el día más largo. Yap, entonces llegamos y nos estaba esperando un tránsfer. En el camino a Davis, lo primero que vimos fue el smog y un taco.... estábamos locos por una ducha, y estábamos en un taco y asfixiados, porque el bus no tenía aire acondicionado.
Por fin llegamos al Extension Center, que es al final de la U y en donde tendremos la mayoría de las clases, que a todo esto, empiezan el lunes)
Luego de un mini tour por el campus y una mini bienvenida, la dueña de la casa donde me quedo me fue a buscar. Su nombre es Kate, tiene 3 hijos y es profesora en una Iglesia. Vive con su hija Hope de 16 años, que está en el High School de Davis (es todo cool porque parece una U, hasta tiene más área verde que la UDD, no tiene rejas y todos van como quieren). Por lo que me di cuenta, Kate es divorciada y su hijo vive con su papá. La otra hija vive en la India, está por un intercambio allá. Hay un tercer miembro en la casa, ella es Arisa, una estudiante de Japón que vino a aprender inglés. Es tranquilita.. muy agradecida y simpática.

LLegamos a la casa y me hizo un tour. Me contó lo que puedo hacer y lo que no. Puedo hacer todo xD.. comparando con mis compas soy la que tiene más libertad.. así que no es tan difícil acostumbrarme a las reglas. Me siento cómoda porque abro el refri cuando quiero, circulo por la casa sin problema, uso todas las cosas. Lo único malo, es que no tiene TV :(
Pero me gusta mi pieza.. la llené de fotos de todos xD y encima de la cama tengo mi chinita :D

Ayer, me levante mil temprano por la ducha, pero me dijeron que se duchaban las 3 en la noche. Así que en la mañana tengo todo el baño pa mi solita :)
Kate me llevó a la U en su súper van, pero antes pasamos a dejar a Hope al cole. Cuando llegué nos hicieron una orientación.. nos mostraron los ramos.. nos explicaron nuestros derechos con nuestro tipo de Visa y nos dieron una carpeta grandota para que tengamos los apuntes de cada ramo. También tienen los programas de algunos. Luego fue el lunch break, ahí comi un sanguish xd.. esos son los almuerzos acá. La cena es la contundente.
En la tarde, nos pasaron las hojas pa inscribir ramos y nos contaron lo que haríamos hoy. Kate me fue a buscar a las 4. Luego cenamos lasagna!!!!!!! estaba riiiiiiiica
Luego intenté hablar con gente pero el pc estaba pegado o ya se habían ido despues que volví.
A eso de las 9 vino un caballero que llamé para arrendar una bici, ése es el medio de transporte para la mayoría. Pocos andan en autos y hay caminos especiales pa las bicis.
Hoy también me levante temprano, pero porque desperté temprano. Creo que es por el cambio de hora xD
Le pedí ayuda a Arisa para no perderme y llegar a la U. Así que nos fuimos juntas en bici en la mañana pensando que íbamos a lugares distintos, pero cuando llegamos nos vimos que estábamos en la mism sala. Fue mañana de evaluación. Nos hicieron un test parecido al Michigan, que no estaba difícil, luego nos hicieron la parte de "entrevista" del test. Cuando terminamos el test, nos sacamos la foto para nuestra ID de estudiante y almozamos al aire libre afuera del Entenxion Center. Después fuimos al centro en biciii.. jeje.. y nos compramos un MilkShake.. rico rico pa los 30 y tantos grados. Luego, me vine pa la casa porque era tarde libre.Ahora son las 6.40pm y hay 31°... imagínense a las cómo estaba a las 2 pm.

Luego habrá más info :)
para fotos.. está mi facebook
cualquier pregunta, duda, reclamo o denuncia postee aquí!
besos a todos!!!

Santiago

2008-01-15T00:34:00.000-03:00

I've just taken the TOEFL test. I went to Santiago, where the heat is terrible... you walk down the long streets and there are no trees!!! no trees!!!! how can they breathe?????????
If there is wind, it is HOT and I felt like I couldn't breathe.... and the metro!!! uufff.. worse!

Anyway, the previous day, I went shopping.. I just bought a nice hat for my Cochon... and he loved it! I also visited the test center to have an idea what it would be like... the place was nice but at the moment of the test was hot....
The most important thing is that if I get a certain score (100....even if I pass it).. I will be able to go to USA to study for one term... this is the complicated thing.. because it means a lot to me.. to my family.. and to my boyfriend.
This opportunity might mean the break or the strength of our relationship. I hope the latter.

The flying term...

2007-11-27T23:39:00.000-03:00

Veeeeeery long time without writing.. a whole term!

Many things have happened..actually it's been a very busy term.. I hardly had time to rest..
Because of "Evaluation" I spent most of the weekends indoors doing those hateful workshops... but they were useful anyway. I feel that I'm more prepared to be a teacher now. I feel I got to know my career.
Besides, I went inside the school system not only to observe classes, but to teach and perfom some sketches in front of the students!! But sketches weren't enough, 'cause in drama we performed A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare in Udec and in Catolica.... uuuuffff!!

Fortunately everything went ok.. everybody congratulated us and were very happy with our performance.

I have many things to write (some sorprises are coming) but, in the meantime, I'll quote some paragraphs from my reflection about the play.

From a student's point of view....

"Perfoming A Midsummer Night’s Dream was a very nice experience. We never expected such a “success” and that everyone liked it.
At the beginning, I think nobody thought how well we could do it, because as far as I know, most of us do not like acting. In spite of that, I am completely sure that everybody did the best they could last week. Actually, I was impressed of the progress we had since the very first rehersal, which I think was awful because nobody knew their lines and how to move on stage, until the presentation, which was much better because we got beautiful costumes and were much more ready.
I think that the fact that we all had our customes on helped a lot at the moment of the performance because we felt we were the characters themselves. I believe characterization is important when you want to perfom somebody else, otherwise you would feel like a stranger and not believing in the things you are saying or acting.
Besides clothing, make-up helped a lot too, especially for the fairies. It was very necessary for the Fairy Kingdom to look shiny because that made them stand out from the rest of the characters, meaning they were not part of the “visible” world."

And from a future teacher's point of view...

"Making students act is a good way of helping them to improve their English because they can learn many things, such as vocabulary, pronunciation, fluency, grammatical structures which are in the texts. Other things they can learn are related to body movement, fluency and oral expresion. Furtherrmore, we can analyse the sense that the play has by discussing about situations, conflicts, characters’ personalities and actions that occur in a play.
I would really like to put this in practice when I am a teacher, I think it would be very helpful, especially for those who are afraid of talking in front of people or are too shy to do it.
The best way to motivate students to perfom and do their best work is by reinforcement. If we know what students are capable of, we can ask more from them and make them know that they are doing it well. I think we should not correct by interrupting them or telling this is bad or wrong, but we should tell them carefully that there are other ways of telling something or letting them how the can improve something. The same happens with acting. Students can learn by rehearsing and effort.
Finally, I am sure the “actors” participation and opinion was very important for the performance. We all gave suggestions to each other about how to say our lines or to move on stage. It was like having feedback all the time. I am amazed with the group work we were part of."

Finally!

2007-06-29T19:51:00.000-04:00

Everything is getting clear.. by the end of all...

Finishing terms is a great deal.. irresponsible teachers... lazy students... it's stressing...

The term was supposed to finish today, but it didn't end up like that. The thing is that we are tired of this situation caused by those "students" who are demanding for "fair" things... those who call themselves democratic people... those who ignore a lot of things... those who think everything has to be for free.

First, don't think all those requests are fair... some of them are totally nonsense... you cannot go against this system if you are a little group of few people. I really regret that, I know that not everybody fit in this system and I'm for the change they wanna make.. 'cause I'm sure there has to be a change.. it's really necessary, but this are not the ways of doing it.
Second, democracy. We all know that an institution has to consider everybody's opinion to be democrat, but... this people who call themselves democratic are being authoritarian, which is something they claim to be unfair strongly. They took decisions without asking anybody and don't respect other's freedom. The majority of the students want to have classes and finish the term as soon as possible. And they are not respecting this right.
Third, before demanding... find out who's fault are the problems they have.
Fourth, the university is not public... so students HAVE to pay.. and in time.

If you want real leaders and people who really represents you...vote.. that's the only way.

On the other hand, authorities shouldn't let those people to believe they can do whatever they want in private spaces, even though if their main purpose is to be open to the community...
I still believe in other means to get what we want, not violence or passing over other people.

Overreacting?

2007-06-17T11:38:00.000-04:00

Don't think so.

Sometimes I think everything is wrong.. or that I try to find anything that makes me feel this way. Anyway, the idea of this is considering both opinions and views, but it seems that we are a little bit selfish once in a while, which is not wrong, but when this is becoming more frecuent I feel alone sometimes.

It's not the same worry, and I can see it in little details.

It's not overreaction... it's trying to make things smaller than they are. Because "it's better to ignore, to hide problems, so we don't argue". But I reply... it's good to argue, we can obtain good things from it. Moreover, if we avoid problems thay are gonna be there forever!!!

I've told you thousands of times....

Tired of it.

Third Year

2007-05-10T20:48:00.000-04:00

Long time without coming around.
At the begining it was because I thought it was a drag or just because I didn't feel like writing, but lately I've been busy... really busy.

Good news! I passed FCE... now the target is CAE.. but it doesn't mean the same as the previous exam. It isn't a schoolarship, it's important only for passing the subject.

University has been very different this year. Since March we haven't really stopped. Every week we have had a lot of things to do.
The subject of "language" requires more effort. For the first test I studied a lot, but the results weren't the expected. I don't know what's happening, I've studied more than the previosu years and my marks hasn't been the same as before.
This year I have Education subjects that are directly related to my "future" job . Sometimes I'm happy with it... and sometimes some doubts come out.

I don't know whether I'll be able to cope with students. But when I hesitate about that I just tell myself that I'll have to overcome shyness and this "fear" that I'm feeling now.

In the meanwhile, I'm visiting a high school and observing what's going on there, but out of the classroom. It's a new thing for me, since I never was in a techinal-professional school. More over, I'm on the other side of the system, I'm getting familiar with the organizational part of it.
Next term, I hope to be making my second pre-practice which is inside the classroom. Then is when I'll know what are students like. I won't be doing classes, but watching them. I guess I'll be more confident by that time.

However, I still have things to do so I'll stop here and take a rest.

Good Night.

First Certification Exam

2006-11-21T22:35:00.000-03:00

Less than a month is left for measuring my English knowledge.
I'm not really nervous.... now....
but I'm sure that I'll be in 2 weeks.

This is quite important because if I fail... I don't want to dessapoint anybody... or to get frustated.... Also, if I pass this exam, my CV will have a "plus": a paper that says that I DO KNOW ENGLISH!

I feel that I'll be given many opportunities... this is one of those. This is like a door open, and I'm just starting to look at what's inside...

To know English helps anybody to make her or his world bigger. U can have a wider view of life, set bigger golds and, of course, have possibilities of travelling abroad.

I've hesitated a lot about this... and I keep firm in my idea. I wouldn't like to live in another country. I'd rather go there for holidays or just for a short period, because I don't think I could stand to be far away from my family for so long.
I'm not really sure if it's for my family.. maybe it's just for u... because u're the only thing that I can lose going abroad.

I'd wish I could take u with me....

2 or 3 hours to see u & 2 of 7 days to talk to u

2006-11-21T22:26:00.000-03:00

I've always thought the same. VERY little time!!
Maybe it's a little bit boring 4 u, but I don't think so. It mught be cause you're not used to it... me either, but I consider we should share more time together...
On the other hand, it could be dangerous, as well... cause of this thing about "dependency"...

I already dependent on you, so I don't really care about losing what's left of indenpendency.

I've told u many times... and I'm tired of that...
I think I got it now... u're just fine.. and u don't think the same as me, in this case.

Psycological

2006-11-03T23:54:00.000-03:00

I was drowning in a glass of water....

mmmm.... well... or maybe not.

In fact, the problems are still there... but they're not as unconfortable as yesterday and I feel much better today.

And that's because of you. You were patient... and fortunately, you realized by yourself, what was going on with me.

Now I'm calmed because this afternoon was very special and the softness and passion you used really means for me. Also, some of my doubts were clarified.... I think.... But some others are still there, but not as bothering as yesterday.

I know you know how to do it.... but I guess you forget it sometimes. So, I hope you remember it more frecuently.

Would it happen?.... It did.

2006-11-02T21:26:00.000-03:00

Doubts again in my head...
Will it work?

The feeling's still the same, but this isn't the way I want it to be. The last 2 weeks something has been in my mind, an idea that might be difficult to accept, even for myself.
I'm afraid of being alone, although I'm afraid to carry on with this. Because if those things that annoy me don't change, this weird feeling won't leave... maybe.

The thing is that you don't notice it and that's what makes me feel like this.

What happened the other day really scared me. I couldn't.... I COULDN'T!!
I never thought this would happen.
I told you I was sorry, but I know that you didn't feel ok about that although you told me not to worry. And I'm really sorry.

Since then, I've wanted to cry... no reason why. In fact, I don't do it... but it's just a horrible anguish... something that's opressing my heart and doesn't seem to leave.

I've thought this might be because of the things that I'm taking, but anyway, if this feeling wasn't real, it wouldn't be here. Not even a little!

All Has Been Said

2006-10-23T14:22:00.000-03:00

All has been said...

It's difficult for me, but harder to accept for them. I'm not living their lives any more. I've begun to write my own story, which will be history in some years and a nice memory of our communication, at the same time.

I think I wrote what I felt in Spanish very clear. But it's not the only aspect of my life that I'm cared of by now.

When you feel your life's taking shape, you have to be aware that something may go wrong. It's said you have to enjoy the moment... but I cannot avoid to think that to be in such illusion can make me fall down...

is it an illusion???

no... it's not. Not any more. I'm completely sure that what I'm living is for real and I will fight to keep it like that. I know you will do it, as well.

If tell you I feel lonely, it's not becuase of you. It's for them. Because, beyond all my freedom I'm still in a little cage as them. But I hope it be open in a few years.

Pensando...

2006-10-23T14:12:00.000-03:00

xata... xata d la mierda...
poke la gente tiene ke tratarse tan mal????
poke tanta gente triste!.. pero triste d verdad....
io = tngo mis momentos... pero lo ke molesta es ke esos realmente tristes no vean lo alegre ke hay..
como se desperdician!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

m falta tiempo!
pero = he reflexionado un poco...muxas cosas han kmbiado... y ia nada.. pero NADA es lo mismo d antes

....creo ke el haberlo dixo.. m kito algo.. es como ke nuestro secreto ia no es solo nuestro... era lo unico ke realmente nos pertenecia a los dos... tuyo y mio a pesar d la libertad ke el haberlo exteriorizado m hace sentir... creo ke d una u otra forma m volvi a ncerrar... poke ia m sentia libre desde antes
nadie se podia ntrometer n eso! nadie! solamente nosotros... pero ahora la presion volvio y siento ke ia no es solo tuyo y mio.

m ayudas a ke too sea como antes? y mjor?

por otro lado hay algo ke m apena.. y no hay nada ke pueda hacer pa evitarlo... ni tu tp....

..... stoy sintiendo el cambio d etapa... y m gusta como se siente... pero no se si m ste adelantando muxo.. tal vez voy mas adelant... si es asi... m alknzas???? o por lo mnos detenme para ke la distancia no sea tan grande... hazme aterrizar... no kiero volar tanto... y sola... es mjor contigo.. para ke m cuides si es ke caigo

curioso... como el asunto da por tmporadas... a vces tu .. a vces io.. aunke creo ke ultimamente mas io.. si se ke soy mdia tonta a veces.. pero tu sabes ke t amo y ke sta rutina ke nos toca... y no nos deja salir d ella ...no m guta

staria toda la vida contigo, too el dia.. toos los dias ...
mi mjor amigo.. mi amor... grax por star conmigo

.... no m vuelvas a dejar sola nunk mas

y como dice la kncion.... (8) hace tiempo atrás t aseguro ke no eras mi huracán (8)

from: c_o_t_i_t_a/?pid=20470123 October 19th, 2006

Won't be the same... ever

2006-05-26T16:33:00.000-04:00

Rainy days and I feel them great. Maybe some water was missing.
However, sometimes people feel depressed and I usually do, but not this time. Because I felt them like an oportunity to think about what's new in my life.

I feel like if I were seeing a new world. There are lots of things and feelings that I didn't know and I'm so excited to live this, that I'm afraid to lose it. That's why I guess I have to pay attention and enjoy this.

It's a weird sensation, a strange way of feeling. Something completely new and I'm glad to start to know it. It's also new for you. It's a new step in our lifes together which help us to know us much better and to make this stronger.

It's just amazing!
We are closer.

We lost something, but we're winning much more.

You cannot have your cake and eat it

2006-05-13T22:49:00.000-04:00

Time keep going... and I don't really notice it.

You cannot have your cake and eat it. Definitely.

Although that ghost is still there, sometimes I forget it and allow myself to be happy. I try to avoid thinking about it, because I don't wanna feel insecure.
That's my way of feeling well. And I manage it.

By the other hand, there is something that makes me feel a little worried, because my unconscious side is trying, maybe, to tell me something that I don't like very much. And I'm afraid it could be true. Anyway, I'll wait whats' next.

***

Like a Gwen's song says "Time always kills the pain". I can associate this phrase with two situations that make me feel sad. The first one is overcome, I guess. But the second one is still fresh and I can understand how it could happen.

I'm not used, though I should, to see that. I felt humiliate, indignant, powerless and with no possibility to fix it. It doesn't have solution.
It's known that the human being understand by talking, but I started to believe that this is not always true. When you don't want to hear or see, you can't realize other's reality, and unfortunately you're focused in your own. That's sad, very sad.
The worst thing is you'll hurt the people who is around you. At the end, the only thing you can get of this is lonelyness. Everybody will move further away of you with this attitude.

It isn't so hard to say SORRY.... why is it difficult for some people??

I don't want to write anymore.
I just say goodbye... and a happy mother's day... if you can have it.

Happier

2006-04-11T14:06:00.000-04:00

Somethings had happend this time... well... something had happend before... I've just known about them... but it's not good to remember them.

I've been very busy at University... but always with time for someone special. And I can say that things are getting better and better, although that person hurt me very much, but the important is that we've already overcome problems... and this is something serious.

Making planes for the future.. thinking about us... as just one unit.... and keeping our feelings intact.

I have to be brief because I don't have time enough.... but certainly I said what I wanted to say.
I'm happy... but I could be happier if everything goes the way I want.

Good Morning

2006-02-20T18:54:00.001-03:00

I was hoping that moment long time ago... and finally it came.... like Luis Miguel's song... It was wonderful...

I love you...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Sleep with you is the most direct way to the Heaven
Feel you're dreaming while I kiss you, and I caress your hands
Sleep with you is sail in a star to the Space
Is enrapture with the whisper of your talk, tender and quiet
Sleep with you is to know the importance of a verse
Feel I sleep and at the same time to know the Universe

Sleep with you, with your hair lodged here in my arms
And the velvet that your lap gives me
What wonderful sleep with you
Sleep with you, with the illusion that it will wake up tomorrow
With the warmth of a new day in the window
It was something beautiful, love, sleep with you

[Translation of "Dormir Contigo" - Luis Miguel]

Will always be there

2006-01-19T23:16:00.000-03:00

People need people
No one can live alone and be happy...

Each person makes a complement with another and, at the end, that's what we are, part of something that most of the time takes differente shapes. All the time it is changing and feeling new things.
I change, you change, all of us change, and that's when we make a different complement that needs another new things for exist like itself.

If someone of this complement dissapears o betrays you.. for any reason... inmediately, you feel out of that entire... and incomplete...It's an imbalance...

Have you ever felt that way?

The quickliest solution... is back again to the last complement, the logic way.. is try to find it again.... but it's impossible. Because you feel something is missing... and time has to be spent to feel good again... to feel stable... and look for a new complement...
no... you don't look for a new complement.. you make it..

But in your memory... always... something of the past will be there.

HaPpY

2006-01-16T22:47:00.000-03:00

The last time that someone read this... it was a problem....
I felt very bad and you too... and I don't want that happen anymore... so.... now.... I'll have to keep for me somethings... even I don't want to. But, however, I'll try to don't do that.

I'm happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
very happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
because almost everything is ok... except for some details... that can have a solution.. I hope so.

I think...you're happy too... because your eyes tell me that when I look at into them.
You make me happy, I make you happy... jejeje.. we both are happy :D
I can't find the words to say what I'm feeling...
I LOVE YOU...
WE LOVE US

I just hope this last for a long time, because this has been so hard to get... and now, I feel we have a nice stability.

.......

But... I have a problem... which is not that important... but I'm feeling... that... I've been bored...
so... I need to go somewhere.... right my girls?
this weekend... we are going to..........

:D

ILUSM!!!!!
I wanna see ya, girls :D

note: this update was so in great demand!! jejeje

Again & Again

2005-12-21T22:18:00.000-03:00

I thought that I won't write about this anymore.... I didn't want to do it...
but... Here I am... again... and again...

I fall in this... again...
this doubts... few of them new... the others not so much...

I wish... I wish this could desappear... but I don't think it's possible

Christmas... New Year's Eve...
Special dates... difficult dates...
By one side.. I like them... because I'm going to begin a new part of my life... I'm going to give a new step.. but on the other side... I feel terrible... because it's time to think... to analize... and I see that I'm now really living what I want... I'm a prisoner of the other's reality... and I can see that always happened the same.
I'm tired of being afraid, I'm tired of think that we are in a thin line and we can fall in any second... I'm really afraid...
I'm near the edge... I don't wanna fall

2005.. was a completely different year... a change year...
I learned a lot of things... a met new people... I knew myself... My thoughts had another focus... I changed.
I'm in loved... I'm sad... this is not reciprocal... or may be yes.... but not in the same way... That's make me feel afraid too.
Again and Again...

But anyway, I think I'm more mature and that I need new things... I think...

Several Miles from the Sun

2005-12-08T17:02:00.000-03:00

I've never wanted to see the blue sky, like today I do
I've never wanted to see the sun, as I want to see you.

Tired of this darkness, I just wanna feel the hot air of the summer
and be with you all day, at night look at the stars and hold you.
Sun and you....
Tired of this darkness I almost see sun rays and now,
some light is over my skin, lighting my way up.
Tired of this darkness
I wanna see light
I wanna feel you
I wanna feel you warm
I wanna touch you
I wanna love you
I wanna be with you

Sun and you...
Is only what I want to see.

...
.......
...

I miss December....

Changed?

2005-11-20T13:17:00.000-03:00

When I woke up this morning the first thing that I thought was how many things I have to do today, but also I could notice that I needed to write and put on words something that has been on my mind some days... or even weeks ago.

I've changed?
mmmmm yes? I guess.... but how much?

Long time ago that I don't think of myself, I miss that.... thinking about MY reality... about what happen around ME... but, yes, I've thought of myself, but in a different way... even I guess I've forgot to look inside of me some feelings or opinions, maybe, about anything...
And I've discovered that I don't think of my in a exclusive way...
I think of me... but with you... that is I think of US...
...us...

us...
.......... Is that good?

I'm afraid because I don't wanna be completely dependent...
It's funny.... but now I understand when people say "we are only one" The important thing is don't lose my individuality... and be a complement with you.

Not falling Apart

2005-11-12T17:06:00.000-03:00

I didn't want to write anything...
may be because I was a little lazy or just because.
Now... I wanna do it... but I don't know how to write without been obvious...

This week I've had all the feelings.... I've been happy, sad, worried, quiet...

There are happening a lot of things in my mind at this moment.
First, I've been worried because of something dangerous... the consecuence of that....
I can say... that it was an accident... but maybe it wasn't...
I hope nothing new about it... I'm ok by now...

Second, a week ago, you told me something that made me remember some fears that I had once. Sometimes I think that you were with me to forget her... or like a way to avoid lonelyness... today the doubt has come again... I think I'm just jelous......
Nothing bothering.... everything's under control.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

What if we take it easy??
May be we are going too fast... or we are ok, and that's what we need... what we want...
May be we are prepared and the only thing that we need to do... is do it...
but there are some things that don't let me be by now... that's my stop... and you know it... you know what is it...
we have to be patients and wait a little more... just a little... because it's coming very... very soon...

By the way... I't was REALLY GOOD the other day... I felt understood, protected...

Details

2005-10-30T22:06:00.000-03:00

What does a woman have inside herself?
Something that men never will know, completely, because they don't try do find it, they are resigned just to love us. Like the saying: men don't understand women, they just love them.

. Awful mistake, because WE have to understand men and also love them, Why cannot be the same??
. Part of the understanding is know how treat them. Women try to please men in whatever they want and if we can do it they feel that we're not the ones for them... It's so unfair!!
. Women love men, just like they are... even when they treat us bad... like some people say: women like men make them suffer. Men must love us just like we are... with our virtues and defects...
. But what can be a defect? They say that if they really love you, nothing could be a defect... I believe in that... yes, I do.

. A little of romance isn't bad for anyone... even there're some people that can't live without those details that make us happy... those details give a push in a couple and keep love alive.
. A flower... a postcard... chocolates... iuk! so romantic!!
. I'd feel weird if I get some of them!! sometimes are rediculous... but it depends on the context... anyway they're worn-out...
. I recognised, long time ago, I need these details, but I can't do anything to receive something original and cute...
. I don't know how this love's still intact... and it's worse because it's increasing...

. Maybe this is the cheaper relation that you ever had... I don't want anything material, I just want your love and I want to notice you preocupation for me... I wanna feel that you are cared about me.We are so different, and sometimes I think about finish it.
. But I can't... I need you... And I dream of the day u will say or do something for me...

I love you... and when I say it... it's true... I know you know it.

Present or Future?

2005-10-28T19:13:00.000-03:00

We always do the same thing... we always try to make things.... and always happen the same damn thing....
We don't know if they are going to work

I hate that!!
By these days... I only have to accept.. nothing else.....

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Once more, students' life is hard...
Are we completely sure about what are we doing? About what we want for our future?
Maybe I'm sure what I want in my life... but in my present life... not in the future
These years are going to define the rest of our lifes... last year I was scared about this... now... I'm just living it... because there's nothing I can do against the system...

Some things are frustrating for some people... they have high spectations, but when can't got them, they think there's no other way to go on...
for that reason I just think in my present... I do live my present...
Obviously I dream with a future... but it isn't something impossible to do... I'm not that perfectionist...
THE thing that I really want is to be Happy.... and with all the people that I love.

Questions

2005-10-21T21:44:00.000-03:00

I don't know how can I love you... You're not how I imagined.
You do a lot of things that make me feel different... you come suddenly and make a mess, whenever you want... sometimes I love it... and sometimes I hate it.
I dream that you're going to do something in a way, but you do it different. Also I can see that many times you think just in yourself and you don't do anything to be plaseant with me... I'd like you see by yourself that I do need some demostrations or signs from you, ... someday I'd like to
A detail never is left... and you should know it....

I'm crazyyyyyyy.... I'm wrong!!
I'm stupid!!
I love you... and now you make me doubt... No, it isn't a doubt... even I'm more sure that I love you... but the questios is are you afraid of that? ... may be... it's very possible, because you don't wanna hurt me... and you'll never give yourself, completely, becuase of that.

By the other hand, I want you... and you want me... of that I'm very,. absolutely sure...
you know... like the song : "I want to make it with you"

Even I don't know why do I make me this questions... and why do I think about them... that's not good for me... I like what we have... I like having you... I like you.... I love you... and this is bigger everyday

In loved

2005-10-16T16:39:00.000-03:00

It's not painful by now...

Even I'm happy... because I know you love me... and I love you... but I don't know if it will be work...
If we will let that this work....

I'm sure you know that I want to try... and that I'll do it... but I'm not so sure how much you will try....
Like the song says... "don't give up easily" .... please... I'm afraid of that... in some way

A weeks ago I was afraid to recognize that I love you... now I'm not... but I'm afraid to suffer again...
don't let me suffer.... And don't leave alone when I need to be with you...

I hope this feeling, about love, stays here for a long, very long time...
I love you

"I WaNNa LoVe You ToDaY,
iF THeRe's No ToMoRRoW"

In Spanish

2005-10-11T14:50:00.000-03:00

I'll write something in Spanish... I don't know why... I guess I just wanna do it... long time ago I didn't do it.... here I go....

El mundo gira... gira... gira y gira más y más...
tan rapido!! demasiado rapido q a penas parpadeamos y se nos pasan años... miles d recuerdos... personas... lugares... experiencias.. s necesario darse un minuto... detenerse en ese rapido girar... analizar, pensar, recordar... a veces añorar... reir ... llorar... y dejar atras tantas cosas...
"paren el mundo... q m kiero bajar"

Extrañar
palabra d 8 letras, q supone miles d sentimientos... s tan fuerte lo q se siente, lo q se kiere, lo que se necesita, s una sensacion inexplikble... impotncia... se desea con tanto fervor, pero s inalknzable... a veces... n nuestra debilidad... nos dejamos bajar... nsimismados n nuestro mundo, los limites d nuestra cabeza no nos dejan ver... cegados...
muxos prefieren star ciegos... no ver... olvidarse del resto.. poke es muxo mas facil.. se vive mjor.. mas feliz... tal vez sea muxo mejor star ciegos... e ignorar la complejidad del mundo...

Amar
lo mas bello y lo mas horrible q se puede sentir...
lagrimas... risas... emocion... deseo... frustracion... debilidad... ngaño... dominacion... libertad... ceder... dar todo... kerer recibir... combustible del alma...
nada se puede comparar con el amor... cdo amas y stas con la persona amada... muxas veces no t das cuenta cto la amas... lo muxo q disfrutas star con ella.. el tiempo pasa muy rapido...
y cdo stas sola... sin esa persona... un minuto parece un siglo... soledad... bienvenida soledad... recuerdos... nostalgia... mas necesidad d amar... y sentirse amado...
"nunk sabes lo q tienes hasta q lo pierdes"
amar tb rekiere sfuerzo... uno luxa por lo q kiere... las cosas no resultan si uno se keda sentado sperando a q otros las hagan por nosotros...
amar funciona si todos ponen d su parte... y ntregan too d si...
("amar s ntregarse olvidandose d si, buskando lo q al otro pueda hacerle feliz")
aunq muxas veces uno siente q no recibe nada q no s justo... pero no impide seguir amando... y eso s lo q duele... amar y no ser correspondido...
y aunq sea correspondido... cada uno ama diferente... unos mas intensamente q otros... y esos son los q mas sufren... pero la verdad no s q se ame diferent, sino q se xpresa difernte... y eso s lo q hay q aprender a conocer para sentirse pleno....
cdo se logra conocer a la persona... se sta trankilo con el ser amado...

"que esto de tu ausencia duele
y no sabes cuánto"

Complex!!

2005-10-06T15:09:00.000-04:00

ahahaahahhahahahahahahahahahah
Complex!!!!
I missed you so much!!! so much!!!
Yesterday was a nice.... fantastic!!
I don't know how it happened... but it was perfect...
Beautiful dusk... at the university... beautiful everything....
your kisses.... I wanted them a lot...
And the talk.... mmm.... we didn't go anywere with it... but I'm glad because you were honest and made me feel good again... protected and loved...

I just wanna be with you, now.... but I don't know what to do....
What can we do??
we... we... we....
I love you

How long does it take?

2005-10-03T17:11:00.000-04:00

More than one month.. and I remember that day, like it was yesterday...
How long does it take?? How long?
When will I stop of think about you?

There's no moment... minute... day... that I don't think in you... I usually wonder what are you doing right now.... did you study? are you tired? are you sleeping? are you playing? Do you remember me?
I'm full of that... I don't want this feeling!! (I guess it has been the phrase that I've said a lot this month)
It's something exasperating... I feel a HUGE impotence...because I want to see you, even from some place away... walking to university... be with you... but I can't...
I hate myself... I look around... and I feel so small and everything is too big... and I hate me... because I didn't use to need nobody... but now... I need you... and I don't want to need you any more...
Before you, I was alone... but I didn't need nobody.... now... I'm alone again... but I need YOU.

Calm

2005-09-21T20:54:00.000-04:00

Sometimes is a sad song.... but sometimes not...
Today wasn't a bad song... but it wasn't good neither.
Weird feelings.... some of them happy... some melancholics ...
but I feel good today...

It was nice to see you... I know you're ok... and I'm happy you were happy to see me too... I notice that in your eyes... You were very kind... and it was fun talk to you... I really missed to laugh with you, feel your hugs...
I'm still missing you... but I'm more calm...

I don't want more tears in my eyes

2005-09-20T18:20:00.000-04:00

It can't be possible.

I CAN'T CRY every time, after talk to you... it isn't ok...

I thought I was fine now... but not... yet...
Why does it still hurting so much? Weeks has happened... and I don't want to feel this anymore... I don't wanna miss you... I don't wanna be cared about you... I don't wanna love you

I never thought I can love you this way... I thought you weren't too important to me... even I thought I have the control of me... of my feeling... though I've always known that's impossible.

Spring... its supposed to be great... it supposed we are together til summer... it SUPPOSED...
I see all that happy couples and I feel sad... really sad... because I miss you a lot.... and I have envey of them because they feel that the other person loves them... something that I lost.

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Sometimes I think... like the song... what is this life for? if you study... doesn't matter.. you will die... if you work... doesn't matter... you'll die... if you love doesn't matter... you'll die... if you feel.. doesn't matter .. you'll die....All what do you do at the end is unuseful, because you die...
But we cannot think of this way... if we do it... nothing would have sense... and everybody would be unhappy...

The human been always need something to life for... I know I have to do a lot of things before die.. but... also I know that all that I do is for nothing... so I wonder if all that we live and all that we feel have any sense... a minimun sense...

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Today.... when we talked.... I almost tell you that I'm still loving you
but I couldn't.... I think that it would be unuseful and without any importance... now

Lie

2005-09-17T21:25:00.000-04:00

Three weeks has happened and I'm still just like the first day without you, but nothing is like before.
Every song make me remember you, I do feel them and all I want is don`t feel this, because I miss you more and more.
Any song tells about us, about what I feel and about what you say you feel...
sometimes I don't want to think anymore and forget everything... other days I prefer to suffer and cry a lot... others I only wanna run to you and I imagine you will be there waiting for me and telling me how much you love me... but it's not true.

At night, I remember when we where together... hugs... kisses... lots of beautiful words and I wish to feel your body touching mine, your lips on my lips, your breath near me...
The way you made me feel... you made me feel wanted... woman... I dream you are with me, you're thinking of me, you're kissing me, touching me softly and how you accelerate while I tell you how much I need you... I dream you really love me ... I'll never forget that...
I miss everything in you...

I'll write down a piece of a song, named "Miento", written by Soraya... (it's in Spanish but I'll translate it, because this is a blog in English :P) It tells how I felt that day... when I hear it I remember everything and I feel sad because you're not mine anymore:

I know you more than no one
every corner of yourself
It's not too easy, yet
began to understand.
For you it was something obvious
I drowned in my sadness.
You closed me like a book
I told you what you wanted to hear
I swear don't cry
I smiled to disilmulated
But everytime I think in you I fall again
I lie and I don't stop
I lie when I dream
I lie with a train force when it pass
I lie for your kisses
I lie when I breath
I lie for lie me
I lie to forget

Give up or just forget it and go on

2005-09-10T16:00:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking how try again. If it is possible. What would happen if I decide to try again.

Would it work or it's a big risk? I can be more hurt than now. Also, if I decide it I guess it would be forever, and now, I don't want it for so long. Obviously it doesn't depend only on me. But, if I ...

The other side of me tells me, don't. Also, you can't press anybody, so go on by my own is the best thing I can do.

It's very hard, I know, but I'll do it with help. I hope so.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

I have a cold!!
Damn.... it stinks....
It's a very bad moment to have a cold. Last night I had a party.... but..... I couldn't go because of it. But, next week I GO... I swear... it doesn't matter what could happen. I go.
I need to go and forget all the things that I'm thinking, I need to distrarct myself and have a good time with my friends and someone else...
Who is that person?? Big mistery.... jajaja... try to guess...
Someone new in my life, maybe... you'll know in the right moment.
Or it's just an illusion?? Guess...

I know it

2005-09-06T15:03:00.000-04:00

Everyday, this feeling is getting worst... worst and worst awful... What can I do? ... absolutely nothing... nothing at all.
I can't describe it, I don't know if it's possible to describe it, I had never felt that before...
I remember once I felt something similar, but what I'm feeling now is different and more intense, more hard and strong inside of me.... I still feel the same damn thing that yesterday... Why???
I don't want to feel this anymore... it's too painful and I just need to learn how stay away from u... how live without ... U
Maybe I need talk to u once more.... 'cause I don't have anything clear in my mind. If someday, we can talk about it, I want it be frankly, freely, honestly and with our hearts open and ready to listen and understand, specially me.
It's weird and strange when I talk like that... but it's real, and perhaps, anyone who reads this stuff, will laugh... maybe it's funny for u... and in your happiness there's not any space or empathy for my feelings... but OK... I respect that... And I hope u respect what I said.

I'm not waiting for any answer, my friends... but there's something I must to tell u: Don't try to make me feel better telling me things that I already know, 'cause I KNOW, and when you tell them I feel worst... so... just leave me talk, leave me scream, leave me cry... just listen and be quiet... holding me... that's what I need... only a hug...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*You'll never know how much you will love somebody*

Nothing is forever

2005-08-30T21:26:00.000-04:00

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuf! Very difficult week!! very very very...
Awful days...
Last week I was hopping better days... but them got worst...
After the storm, calm comes.... and in that moment I'm hopping it, trying to forget everything and to not think so much... 'cause it hurts more.

So, this time, will be for me... just for me...
Lonely again... but... it could be good...

I'll look straight and keep walking

Coming Back To The Normal Life

2005-08-27T22:04:00.000-04:00

Last week was with more activity than before... emotionaly and academicaly... a little difficult... I noticed there are a lot of missing things... and sometimes I feel envey to other people... Why?

I don't understanding it, yet ... maybe you could be more... mmmm.... different.... but it isn't possible because I'd be trying to change you... wich can not be...
This weekend was a little strange, nice time against bored time, idealizing things... dreaming...
Next week.... it comes busy...
I only wanna have a good time... with all of u... Kisses 4 everybody

Better than yesterday

2005-08-21T19:32:00.000-04:00

New week, new thoughts...

Taking the university rythim, and trying to breath pacefuly, again.

Last week was strange and I didn't remember how was feel me sad, long time ago I feel that way. I didn't feel good, I had a knot in my chest that didn't leave me breath. Slowly it has been dessappearing, just like you. And now, that I'm calm, thinking about it, it's a relief.
But I'm still with a doubt... where are you?

There are a lot of questions, really, and I'm hopping the answers. But I'll try to forget all of them, because I don't want to be sad anymore. No more sorrow!

I've found nice people, and I'll look for affection in them, more than you gave to me. I hope find it, soon, because I need it.

Well, I have to read a lot for university... about grammar... so there I go.
Have a nice week...

Tired of your Absence

2005-08-18T20:27:00.000-04:00

I can't understand what's going on, I don't know what's wrong...
What are you thinking?? What's happening in your mind?? I wish to know, I must know.
... are you killing this??.... Maybe....
You probably don't know it, because you haven't notice anything.... perhaps you are blind...

Please, don't do this to me... to us...
Stay there.... but present... not like now... I don't want to see my tears falling... again... never....
Please... if you have time... a little of time, let me know you are present...

I'm still waiting...

Winter Holidays..... finished

2005-08-16T16:15:00.000-04:00

Today, I came back to university. Again, all my classmates and me went to learn more about English and we had a very nice day.

We did'nt see us for a month and today everybody shared what they did on holidays. Most of them went to their own towns and others travelled to differents cities. Others stayed at home or went to near places, like the beach, the mall, cinemas, etc.
This semester we have some new teachers, but we haven't meet them yet. Tomorrow we'll do it at 8 o'clock.
Everyday, we'll have to begin our day at 8 o'clock. So, tonight I'm going to bed earlier than holidays.

The picture is "Playa Blanca" on Saturday Evening. It was one of my last walks with my family.

No Name

2005-08-06T00:46:00.000-04:00

When I'm in my room, lonely

I think in my life

in the people who are with me

in the people that don't know me

in the person that I want to be.

I guess that, really, I'm lonely

I feel that there are so many people

that don't know what happen around them.

I need someone cared about me.

Someone there... Can you hear me?

Can you see me?

Can you feel me?

I want to have an answer, just one.

Don't worry, anyway, I'm OK.

If you are busy, don't worry, I wait,

but I need an answer!!!

Wherever... I'm empty.

I'm asking for help,

and nobody hears me

If you come after time,

leave me alone.

It's too late now.

I want to stay in my darkness

like always...

Alone.

Always was and always will be like that.

Welcome Everybody

2005-08-04T21:39:00.000-04:00

Hi! Welcome to my new creation. I don't know what I'll talk about in this page yet, but I hope to write something interesting for you. At the moment, I'll begin with something about me. Something that I wrote long time ago, but I like it, so I'll show you.